still looking for my treasure...

Been very busy lately that today when I did some brainless tasks, I got too occupied by certain thoughts that have quite been bothering me ever since I do not know…

I’m working on certain stuffs for this year’s ORSEM and that required me to reVIEW the movie “Treausre Planet.” It first premiered six years ago and saw it a couple of time already. But lately I find myself so into Jim Hawkins’ character…

Whew, well until now, so to speak, I still feel so felt alone. Just like Jim, I miss a parent. I miss my mom so much everyday that I look for figures from my constant acquaintances and friends that will well represent mama. That’s not that bad, diba? If only hindi ako nagiging too possessive of them that I become jealous whenever they seem to be attached to people other than myself. Hai, isn’t that, not so good. Diba?

Sabi ko nga kay Nysh, I think SAD (seasonal affective disorder) lang ‘to. But I guess hindi rin, been feeling this ever since I don’t know. The trend is, it surfaces, then gets gone ( the duration varies ) then resurfaces again. It’s the same thing over and over again. At times I think the emotion is not anymore centered with lost of a mom. I guess hindi ko na rin talaga masatisfy ang sarili when it comes to my relationships. Most of the time, someone triggers this emotion. The last time I felt like this was because of ate Nikki, I felt so attached to her although I really wasn’t that close to her then. Tapos yun, things happened and BAM the emotion rose. Had it even blogged. Tapos ngayon, si ate Minnie. Although we’re okay now ( we had a quite of a COLD WAR ) but I still don’t feel okay.

In a methaphor, it’s like that I have found the treasure island and yet sooner than I can ever imagine, pinapakawalan ko na pala. Ohhh! I’m so messed up!!!

(lemme breath first, sip on my chocolate )

Ang drama ko na naman sa taas noh? Practically I’m okay, sad lang because medyo maraming stress. Yah! Stress lang to; have lots to do.

Hai…
Hindi rin…

Whew, whatever is this…
Sana get gone.

I’m still looking for treasures…