i am sober...

I am Sober, I guess; sober from the dissatisfactions the prior night provided. It’s not about the making out, maybe, but as of now, I think the fact that I guess I’m doomed to another “hindi sya” experience is making me sick. Damn sick.

I guess uunahan ko si Raffy to pause and find some healthy distractions.

I have been drunk of the possibilities that maybe making out will be fun; I am sober now, and turns out I was wrong. I thought I was gaining, I thought I was having fun, turns out, now that I have the hang over, I have been disintegrating.

Relationships should make us happier, should make us realize our wholeness. But for the past 2 years, turns out I haven’t been into one. I thought I was. But I was wrong, I am wronged. It was a make believe, but you what’s the irony is that it is I, myself who fooled myself. I was in the process of convincing myself that I am into the one, but actually I was into the thing. Just like a drunk person, when I was drunk I was insisting that I am sober, and now that I am sober, I wish I never got drunk. Hang over! Hangovers!

Ayan flowery na naman ang words ko; if naiintindihan mo, good, if hindi, forget about it.
Dala lang to ng dissatisfaction of what I thought was a happy story and this was even more triggered by “Lalake sa Parola”

I have been making many “creeds” lately but they never make it into my blogsite. Only now, this I really promise, one things, for I, me, and myself:

“Hindi lahat ng tao sa mundo katulad ni Mateo, bukas at totoo, minsan even the self is not open to things that it is afraid to accept or recognize; with this I promise that in the coming days, there will be no more making outs, but sooner, I wish I would be making love (with whom? I believe, hope that in this world, there is always a Mateo for every Jerome).”

I might sound vague but swear, this time I have learned.
Para saan pa na gender advocate na ako. ( the training was really helpful to me! )

Oh sya, mwAH!