mga alaala ng parola...

Mga Alaala ng Parola
Ito ay isang kwento ng pagHahanap ng tunay na kaligyahan…

I just watched “Ang Lalake sa Parola”, quite too good a movie to be distributed under the sheets of norms. True, it’s quite explicit, too revealing I guess; but the thing is, it’s not just the genitalia, but the story itself that’s quite too revealing ( at least I think, for some) Beyond the flesh, it’s not just a “homoerotic” story (that’s what the covers say) but a masterpiece story of finding one’s true self.

Isa syang kwento of discovering and accepting the authentic self, beyond the norms ( the norms that humanity set ) As from someone who knows his gender beyond anyone, I must say, the lessons of the movie are but the basics that any homo/bi/tripper (whatever he/she terms himself/herself) should know.

Pero, madalas, still there resides what Mateo portrayed, there is fear of the relative acceptance of the self beyond the acceptance the society may provide. Nakakalungkot that most of the time, kelangan pang gumawa ng mga “diwata” upang maipahatid lang ang talagang matagal nang nadarama. Crap na lang talaga ang mga taong buong buhay nila hindi maamin sa sarili ang totoo, double that, ganun kaCrap ang mga taong despite the genuineness of these people, are still left boxing and unreasonably labeling them, us, in their too narrow perspective of the self, happiness, lust and love.

I have always believed that there’s a difference between making out and making love; all my life I never made love with somebody, just kept making out. Fun, I must say but tama it’s really rare to find a “Mateo” in this world. Although hindi fiction ang story ni Mateo at Jerome, this world most of the time label it, most of the time look down on it. At first Mateo was making out with Jerome (the world pushed Him to), but in the end, the time came that He realized the grace of being with, and being the SELF, finally the “diwata” faded. Mateo will no longer make out, Him and Jerome will be making love (hopefully all of their lives)…

Making out and making love; there’s a difference, trust me.

Mejo nakakalito blog ko no,
Heto na tutumbukin ko na…
Just minutes ago, I thought I was making love, turns out we were making out. Tapos yan, napaisip ako, lahat ng sinabi ko sa taas totoo kaya?; that a guy loving another guy is not a fiction. Been exposed to counseling, funny but I guess I’m giving myself a little dose of reversed psychology. hahahahaha

But seriously, I’m again loosing ground. Darating kaya sya?
Kelan darating ang panahon that I won’t be needing a “diwata” anymore?
Darating nga kaya yun?

weeH! I think the movie’s getting into me, and my Hubbie, too. ( if I still decide to keep Him) Ah ewan, I have to be honest, I want a more intimate relationship. A kind of a relationship that sex is not just a thing ( making love not making out ), a kind of relationship that will make me wanna wake up everyday, a relationship that’s not superficial enough to surpass the pleasures of the flesh. Duh, my point is, I wish I have a Mateo in my life, a Mateo who finally realized the meaning of “diwatas” and finally decided to embrace his fate.

Ang tanong jan, darating ba sya…
May gusto akong sagot, but the answer depends on this society…
… and Him above there.

I just Hope I kept the passes that mama gave me, so that lumakas naman kapit ko kay BRO. 

*** been using “diwata” repeatedly, well in the movie it was meant to be a metaphor for true love amongst men camouflaged in the mystery of diwatas themselves. In my blog it simply symbolizes “escapes” or in a spec, things done to hide the truths of the heart.
*** uhm, may I add, officially, Hubby’s a thing of the past, just an hour ago, and He’ll remain as such.

mwAH.