I just made out with someone quite too good to have and to hold; and I just can’t make up my mind. I like what we have, there’s a thin line between simply making out and making love; when we were doing it, I felt that we were in that thin line. There’s respect above any thing.
The truth is I know what’s causing this feeling.
I have long accepted that I am not like the rest, that I am different. I am gay to most eyes but if you would follow the real definition, I am bisexual ( I can be with any gender ) I still dream of having my own family although that seems quite improbable now. Anyway that’s now my point as to why I am writing this thing.
I am not yet ready as to how my family will react, although it has been circulating in the family that I am not straight, confirming it is, duh, damn hard. I know they will understand but since the nature of change is that it most time come with chaos; I am afraid that I may not take what my family will say.
Funny because the world knows the real Brent ( the fact that you’re reading this thing means I’m ready for the world) but my most immediate and intimate ( that’s ideally [intimate], although I really put a premium on my family ) love ones to know, by knowing I mean really know, who am. The truth is, I myself, am not yet ready to open up to them, but lately things’ been really good but whenever I’m confronted by the fact that my family does not REALLY know; I feel sick. I have found liberation in my friends, my colleges but in my family, my heart say I am not yet ready, thus at home, I really am not at home.
**** but any way, I, I have always trusted the Lord, I know He has plans for me, and so I say, I’m open Lord. No defenses held ( although of course I’m only human )Fiat Lord.
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