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I have many things in life; but why is it that I still feel empty?

I remember when I was still a kid; mama never did permit me to go out of our compound. I had toys in the house but I don’t have playmates. I was over protected, well that was reasonable since way back then I was way too sickly. Still, looking back, I feel that I missed many things because of that; but I don’t blame anyone, I am not am if not because of that.

Back then, I would go out every time mama is at work, I would sneak out of the house, then off to the gates to the world I always wanted to experience. But every time I do so, I always return home with a bleeding wound, a teary eye and a frustrated heart. That was my life then.

I never realized how loved I was until mama died after a comatose; I was then turning ten, her funeral, my birthday. It was a huge change in my life; have learned the value of the things I have since then. Life changed after that day.
I’m 18 now, a have almost all the things that I need and many of a few things I have wanted. I am sheltered by a humble home at an Ayala Land; am being nourished more than enough; am given the opportunity to be cloth with names, even gets my feet kissed with the lips of Brazil; am studying at a known Jesuit University; am affiliated with peers that are living quite a good life, good enough to afford a the lust of luxury. But given all these, I still feel empty.
I have humble money, but I can’t buy happiness; I have friends, but I can’t demand affection; I have a house, but I don’t have a home; I have loved, but why is it that I am not loved. I don’t own the world, but I own many of a few of its stones but why is it that I still feel empty?


I am thankful to the Lord that he gave me these things…
… would it be ingratitude if I ask for more than what I have?