am i ready?

Revelations, am I ready?!
Funny how this cold November night makes feel like this.
Its Saturday night, an hour from now and Sunday will come…

For the mean time…
I think I am pretty much, more than infatuated…
I think… I’m in love.
But not really.
I really don’t know…

Lately I have been in a whirl of emotions; and it’s stressing me, quite. Just a week ago I was way too happy in welcoming new volunteers into our group. It was really fun expanding social networks, until now, the joy in having new friends is creeping into my veins. And just yesterday, I and a friend had a little bit of a misunderstanding due to a third party whom my friend thought was I. Well, Brent is a common name, I guess. Whoever that fuck was, I’m over it. And on that same day, for the longest time, I have again watched a horror movie with my friends. And this time, my stomach really twisted. I hate that movie! It scared me to the bones! But all those things don’t amount to the thrill my last class had brought to me.

Remember *o*?!
I don’t know if I should celebrate or what but the sign I asked for came true! It damn did come true! I am delighted, I have to admit… I’ll be spending about five months with the person and that would be quite a long time. But above the joy, I am afraid. I promised to tell the significant other how I feel. How I really, honest to God really feel.
Just a semester ago, I was rejected by the girl I tried courting and now I have heard that she’s a new boyfriend. Somehow I’m over that; my real dilemma is my status quo. How will I tell the person? Whom I know, I think I know, have an interest at someone else. Besides, I’m not sure if *o* could see beyond just me, beyond the mere BRENT, I’m not sure if *o* could look not at my social definition but my real definition.

I don’t know anymore, all I know are two things, am afraid and that this is stupid.
I guess I would again start to learn how to turn attraction to mere affection, love to mere friendship.
Revelations? I don’t think I can…
Maybe not now…
Maybe someday…
Someday.